Policeman called round to the house yesterday. I yelled at the kids “Shit! It’s the Feds!” They knew what to do. Flushed the stash, dumped the weapons over the fence to next door (we’d do the same for them, we’re neighbourly that way) and Rachel threw a pot pourri over the corpse that was decomposing in the living room.
Turned out he was actually warning us about a spate of ‘Creeper Burglaries’ around the village, including one in our street the day before. Seriously, what’s the world coming to when you can’t leave your front door unlocked?